It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn
by Brighter Side of Darkness
Summary: Hermione lives through a hell at the hands of a man she thought she loved, far from those she's always loved. When she's forced to do the unthinkable, she returns determined to make up lost time, Will anyone be willing to help her? AU. M for later chapter
1. Chapter 1

_**December**_

_The fireplace. That was the one thing she'd loved the most when she decided to move into this place that was so far way from the home she knew. So warm and inviting. That was the biggest selling point for Hermione Granger. It wasn't England. It wasn't even Europe. But it was where she'd begun to call home. She loved being able to curl up on her couch in front of a warm fire with a warm mug of hot chocolate in her hands and a good book opened on the arm of the couch so she could read with ease. Just as she had been doing before her mind began wandering down a different path._

_It had been almost three years since the downfall of Voldemort at the hands of her best friend, Harry Potter. The now 20-year old witch stared into the fire as her mind relived that final battle._

_It'd begun the day that they were supposed to graduate their final year at Hogwarts. It was the warmest day they'd had so far in the middle of June. It should have been a day of excitement, happiness, and celebration, but instead everyone who prepared to cross the stage and accept their certificate of graduation was also prepared to fight a war to defend everything that the knew and loved. Rather than being armed with smiles and friendship, they were armed with wands and determination to defend the ones the loved._

_That was a lot of weight on the shoulders of a group of 17 year old witches and wizards. A group that had seen far more in their young years than many of their parents would have cared to admit. They were young, but innocent they no longer were._

_The 'Golden Trio', consisting of Harry, Hermione, and Ron stood at the head of the group. Their senses had been so alert and instead of the excitement they should have been feeling, they were more anxious than anything else. _

_Outside the tent that held the graduates, members of the Order of the Phoenix had scattered themselves amongst the crowd. Despite the terrifying number of battles that scarred the heart of each individual involved, their numbers had held strong and multiplied as people sought vengeance of their lost loved ones and sought a final end to the war that had ripped their lives to pieces, not once but twice._

_The procession started exactly at noon, exactly as it had been scheduled. Impending battle did not through Hogwarts off its precise schedule. Names were called in alphabetical order and everyone waited on bated breath as each graduate crossed the stage and accepted their certificates, exhaling heavily when their feet were back on the ground._

"_Hermione Granger, Class Valedictorian, Acceptance to St. Mungo's Apprenticeship Program."_

_She'd gathered herself and climbed the stage to accept her own certificate as well as the acknowledgement of her accomplishments. She was shaking the hands of her Head of House, Professor McGonagall when said witch knocked her student to the ground as a red jet of light narrowly missed the pair of witches._

_And so it began._

_The final battle that they'd all been waiting for began then as they'd attempted to take out one of Harry Potter's right hand people. Everything was immediately in an uproar. Wands appeared out of apparently no where. The stage and the seats disappeared. Professors and senior students ushered the younger students back to the safety of the castle while the graduates and Order members gathered for what would be an eventful but fulfilling day._

_Mad-Eye Moody, even with his unfailing belief in constant vigilance was the first to fall that fateful day. Others fell shortly behind him, including Cho Chang, Padma Patil, everyone's beloved Tonks, and Dennis Creevy._

_Towards the end, Hermione stood back to back with Ron, each throwing curse after curse in the direction of the never ending numbers of Death Eaters. It wasn't until an outcry drew her attention, did Hermione realize that Harry had finally come to the final confrontation with his Dark wizard counterpart. Hermione shuddered at the sight of the dark wizard._

_She grabbed Luna, who stood next to her, and put her behind Ron, not wanting to leave either of her friends without cover. As soon as that was done she'd darted across the grounds, jumping over limp and still bodies. Whether they were dead or just unconscious she didn't know, nor did she care, her only concern at the current moment was to get to her best friends' side, where she belonged._

_She skidded to a halt just feet from where the battle was brewing between the two wizards. Harry's energy and strength were already waning and whatever spell Voldemort had sent to him was not meant to kill, only to play. The bastard was only toying with him until the younger man had no more strength or will to fight. Hermione watched as Harry fell backwards onto the ground._

_With a surge of energy of her own, she rushed forward behind her best friend and scooped him up to where he was leaning his back against her chest. _

"_Hermione, get out of here," he'd said trying to push her away, "I can't hold him back from you I can't win this."_

"_Harry, be strong, we all have faith in you, even if you don't have faith in yourself. I've got you, as I always have," she's whispered urgently into his ear, grasping his hand tightly and letting him brace himself off of her. "You're not alone."_

_She'd felt him tense in determination and she helped him to his feet. When they were both standing again, she stood at his back, giving him whatever strength she could. Carefully, she pried his wand from his tensed fingers and at his worried and curious gaze, "You can't win with your wand, Harry. Not if he's carrying his," she whispered as she pressed her own wand into his hands. "Take mine, end this Harry. I'm right here behind you."_

_Something she couldn't explain crossed through his green eyes as he gave her a greatful smile, "Thank you, 'Mione." It was only a matter of a half hour later and the Dark Lord, Voldemort himself, lay dead at Harry's feet. As soon as the Dark Wizard had fallen to the ground, angry cries were heard around the grounds, as Death Eaters came to the realization that their leader was gone. _

_How do you kill a snake? Cut off the head and the rest will follow. _

_The remainder of the Order members rounded up what remained of the Death Eaters who hadn't manage to apparate as soon as they learned of their leaders demise. Everyone had already begun celebrating._

_But Hermione stayed where she was, with Harry. He'd moved to lean against her as she took her wand back and flicked it briefly, setting the remains of the dark wizard to flames. Burning whatever darkness was left in the empty, soulless, body._

_As soon as the remains started to burn, Harry collapsed and Hermione caught him, lowering him slowly to the ground and holding on to him. "Are you alright?"_

_He smiled faintly, "Never better."_

"_Good," she'd smiled, giving him a hug that he returned. "Go ahead and rest for now, everyone's going to want to talk your ear off later, so take what you can get."_

_Back in the present, Hermione blinked back to the present. She'd left her place defending Ron's back to cover Harry's. Why? She couldn't let him face his nightmare alone. Granted, he'd always told them that it was his fight and that he, alone, should bare the burden. But that'd never stopped her before? Why should she have let it stop her from being at his side when it mattered most?_

"_Hermione?"_

_The sudden voice in her quiet home made her jump. She hadn't even heard the front door open, she must have really been deep in thought. Hermione shook herself mentally as her gaze lifted to meet the eyes of the speaker. A warm smile crossed her face, "Good morning, Daniel."_

_The wizard smiled brightly at her and took his seat next to her on the couch. She'd actually met him a few days after that final battle. He'd been an Order member who'd been sent abroad who'd returned upon hearing of the battles probable end. They'd talked through letters and chance meetings for two years and had begun dating for almost nine months before he'd convinced her to move to Colorado with him. That was back in April. It was now just days before Christmas. She'd already been here for seven months._

_Since she left she hadn't heard from anyone. Not from Ron. Not from Ginny. Not even from Harry. It stung. But she knew none of them had ever really liked Daniel. They couldn't explain why, they all just said that he gave them an 'odd feeling'. She figured the fact that she left everything for the person that they didn't like, left them with a bitter taste towards her._

"_How's your day going?" the wizard asked looking from her to her books, to the fire and back again. He too was a muggleborn, making his transition to the hustle and bustle of the American West that much easier. There was still a faint tint of his English accent in his voice but his accent had mostly become as Americanized as his home and his ways._

"_It was good, I just read for the most part," Hermione smiled. "I sent a few letters out to Harry and the Weasleys, wishing them a Happy Christmas. I know they haven't shown desire to speak to me, but I still have to try to keep conversation going."_

_He nodded slightly, "I hope they don't disappoint you like they did on your birthday. If they do, you still got me, right?"_

"_Right," she said with a smile that only barely covered the sting that the thought of her forgotten birthday brought._

_Their conversations had grown light and casual, but not so much uncomfortable, during the few months that they'd lived together. He knew she missed her home, no matter how hard she tried to hide it behind a smile. She knew he knew, and she knew that's why he'd started changing. They were happy though. So she kept her smile and kept her memories in check and lived a normal life in the American West. Just what she wanted right? A warm home with a man who loved her and nothing more of the war to worry about?_

_**April**_

"_Hermione!" his voice was no longer warm and loving but cold and demanding. His actions had lost their tender and caring touch and turned harmful and controlling. "Hermione where are you!?"_

_They're neighbors were gone for the Easter holiday. From what she noticed they were the only one's __**not**_ _leaving for the holiday. They wouldn't hear the commotion. Even if they had and they called the Police, he always managed to find away to convince them that all was well and send them away._

_Hermione kept herself hidden, huddled beneath the long, flowing table cloth that covered they're three legged corner table in they're bedroom. Her mouth was clamped shut to keep her whimper from drawing his attention._

_She couldn't pinpoint when things had taken this turn. Everything was great and then one day, as though some one had flipped a switch, things changed. __**He**__ changed. It started with just sharp and cruel words and it grew to this. Her hiding from his dangerous and painful hands._

_A squeak of fear slipped from her hands as the curtain was lifted and a hand knotted in her long curly hair and dragged her from her hiding place. "Now, what good did that do you, huh? What did I tell you about hiding from me? It doesn't help you, Hermione. It only makes me that much more pissed off," he growled as he wrenched her head back._

"_I'm sorry," she whimpered, eyes opened wide in fear._

"_I don't think you are, but I know that you will be," He said, darkly. "I'm going out. When I come back, we'll discuss what your punishment will be. You and I both know this isn't the worst thing you've done this week. You and I both know that I've let you get away with way too much this week." Hermione trembled in fear and swallowed thickly. "What will be done by the time I get home, Hermione?"_

"_Laundry will be washed, dried, and folded a-and, dinner w-will be ready," she said quietly._

"_Exactly. Don't disappoint me, Hermione, you've already got a lot coming to you tonight, don't make it worse on yourself," Daniel stated. With that he let go of her knotted hair and left the room, closing the door with a 'click'._

_**October**_

_Things hadn't gotten any better. Hermione was reflecting back on that day that things started going downhill faster than any day previous to it. She hadn't gotten laundry done. She'd burnt dinner. Work had gotten him so worked up, he was on the verge of being laid off at only a moments notice. He'd nearly killed her that night._

_Six months had passed since then. He'd not gotten laid off. She'd tried to leave him twice. It only lasted as far as the front door before he had her pinned to the wall. He'd made it up to her well enough though. He'd bought her enough pretty things to make the most high-maintenance Pureblood happy. He always made her look like a princess when they went out among his friends. _

_She knew it was no real way to live but…after two years, where else did she have to go? She couldn't just leave and expect to be welcomed back by those she'd abandoned. So she accepting the gifts along with the pain and she just lived as she knew._

_There were days when, for no apparent reason, he'd come in from the other room in such a fury. She never knew what sparked his anger on those days, but she found out quickly not to ask either. The one time that she did she heard muttered words about "magic" and "owls". Her wand had been taken from her back in March, she'd not been allowed to perform magic in at least that long, so she wasn't sure what any of that had to do with her. But it didn't seem to matter._

_One night, after she'd finished dinner and dishes and the rest of the normal cleaning routine, she curled in front of the fire, drawing comfort and warmth from the dancing flames. She heard the door to his office slam open and she cringed, knowing what was coming, she didn't bother to move._

_It wasn't until hands tangled in her knotted mass of curls and jerked her upright that she lifted her gaze to him. He had four envelopes in his hands and glowered darkly at her, "When have you been writing them?" He barked._

"_W-write who?" she asked, eyes wide. Who did he think she'd been writing? She jerked sharply when the back of his hand collided with her face sending her one direction while his other hand held her by her hair._

"_Now is __**not**__ a time to play stupid with me Hermione. Your friends. When did you write Potter? I thought I told you to stay out of my office," he said, his grip on her hair became extremely painful._

"_I…I haven't. I haven't heard from or spoken to Harry or anyone else in over a year," Hermione cried out. He jerked her head again trying to draw the truth from her. "I swear I haven't."_

_Daniel's eyes narrowed and he studied her before throwing the envelopes into the flickering flames, which engulfed them immediately, "See those, Hermione? Eventually, they're going to forget you exist. Better yet, they're going to hate you for abandoning them."_

_She blinked back tears as she stared at the burning letters. Harry had tried to contact her? Four times? They still thought about her! Her heart swelled as tears streamed down her face. To Daniel, it would look as though she were finally giving up the last broken piece of her. To Hermione, it was solidifying her resolve to at least try and find away out of this mess._

_She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth as the second, third and fourth blow shook her to her core. She cried out and moaned and groaned in all the right times and places but her body was numb, she no longer felt the pain that he caused her. The crack of each broken bone rattled her ears, the blow that caused each heavy and deep bruise shook her frame but none of the pain registered in her mind. Six months or more of this brought her to a point where she just…was. She didn't exist. She didn't' feel. She just was._

_When her body would finally have enough of the battery, all would fade to black and she would be in peace at last. He always stopped one she passed out. He'd stop and usually leave for the rest of the night. Probably to the homes of one of his many mistresses. Hermione didn't care where he left to, only that he was gone._

_It was only about a half an hour after the most recent rounds of assault that she regained consciousness. She shifted to sit up and whimpered, she may not feel the attack, but she always felt the aftermath. She let out a breath sharply and clenched her jaw as she slowly got to her feet. A streak of determination that she'd not felt since that last battle struck her deep in her core and she straightened her shoulders as she'd not done in years._

_She hesitated as she reached the door to his office. She'd always abided by his rules about the office, but right now she didn't care. She'd already taken the beating for something she'd not done, so she may as well do it now. With a burst of courage she pushed the door open and entered. She stood motionless in the middle of the room for a moment, half expecting him to rush in and finish what he'd started earlier. _

_After a few quiet moments, she looked around curiously. She paced around for a moment before stopping at a closet. She paused momentarily before pulling the door open. It was filled with a few boxes, each with her own handwriting labeling the contents. The one on the top shelf was simply labeled "Hermione's"._

_She reached up and pulled the box from it's resting place and slowly lowered herself to the floor next to it and opened the flaps. Immediately she gasped, right at the top was her wand, which she'd thought he'd destroyed months ago. She closed her hand around it and felt heat warm her from the inside out. Tucking the once lost article into her pocket, she pulled out an old photo album._

_Resting it in her lap she began to turn the pages. A small smile appeared as she looked over moving pictures from her time at Hogwarts and stills from her time with her family. There was one that she hadn't remembered being taken, it had her clinging to a box with S.P.E.W. written across the top in fancy letters and Harry and Ron standing on either side of her. From her expression, she knew that the two were teasing her about her stance on Elf rights. _

_A soft chuckle escaped as she thought of everything she'd gone through with them over that movement she tried to start. Merlin she'd put those boys through some times over that mess. Where had that Hermione gone? The Hermione that stood beside her best friend for each and every task at the Triwizard Tournament and through the death of Sirius and everything else that'd happened during their school years. What happened to the Hermione that threw caution to the wind just to stand behind Harry at the final battle and give whatever of her own strength she could. That Hermione would have never put up with what she'd been putting up with for so long now._

_Hermione turned another page in the album and had to pause as a photo of Harry and Ron caught her eye. Harry had paused mid-motion and gave her his usual small smile and a wave before hurrying to catch up with Ron. She exhaled heavily and closed the album and sorted through the rest of the box. All of them were memories of Hogwarts and home, including the newspaper article from the day of the final battle. The front picture was of a haggard looking Harry leaning on her with a relieved smile._

_With a new surge of determination to get out of the mess she'd gotten herself into, Hermione climbed slowly to her feet and went to investigate the rest of the office. She curiously dug through the drawers of his desk, wondering if she'd find anymore letters from her friends that he'd obviously been hiding from her for all this time. It made her wonder if they'd actually forgotten her birthday all that time ago or if he'd just intercepted the owls that brought their greetings. _

_She found a stack of letters with her name in the 'To:' line and various senders. She frowned slightly and set them aside and dug searched through the next drawer down. The next two drawers seemed to be nothing more than things for his work. She shrugged and sat down in the chair moving to the drawers on the opposite side of the desk. The top drawer held another, smaller stack of letters with her name. Her frustration grew to tempered anger. He'd hid all these from her for so long. How could he? How could he leave her to believe that they'd just given up on her?_

_Hermione shook her head and started to dig through the bottom drawer she'd pulled most the contents out before her hand bumped something cold and metal. She withdrew her hand and set everything that she'd pulled from the drawer down on the desk top. With a hesitant glance towards the door, she reached her hand back into the drawer and pulled out a heavy .9mm Beretta. She frowned slightly as she examined the weapon. She only knew faintly about the details of the gun from what she'd heard Daniel talking with Harry years ago after the battle._

_Glancing over her shoulder again, Hermione checked the safety before pulling the magazine from the gun. She pulled the slide back to where it locked, pulling the spare round from the chamber before setting the completely empty weapon on the desktop. Slowly she unloaded each round from the clip, studying each of the rounds individually. It was one thing, as a muggle, that her father insisted that she know. A wand was only safe on so many circumstances. She knew from a young age how to handle a weapon safely._

_Her mind whirled for a few moments as she held a handful of bullets in her cupped hand. After a moment, her shoulders squared and she quickly reloaded the clip and put the magazine back into the gun, letting the slide snap forward. She ran her fingers over the barrel, smiling a grim smile when she was assured that there was a round in the chamber. With a flick of her finger the safety switch was flipped back to SAFE and Hermione tucked the weapon into the back waistband of her jeans._

_Quickly she took the box of things from her past and all her undelivered letters, into their bedroom and hid them beneath the bed before returning and putting everything else back where it belonged. She glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was already nearly four in the morning. She closed the office door behind her and walked slowly into the kitchen and began her usual routine for breakfast. Whenever he left, he was always back by six for breakfast, and breakfast was still expected to be made._

_Pulling her sweatshirt down to cover the pistol, just incase, Hermione started on breakfast. At Five fourty-five, everything was ready. A plate of food sat in front of both they're places and a hot cup of coffee sat above the silverware. Hermione sat in her chair, a napkin covered the gun that was settled on her lap. She held her own coffee cup in her hands to keep from revealing how scared she really was._

_Sure enough, six o'clock on the dot, the front door opened and slammed shut and Daniel stumbled in, she could smell the whiskey from where she sat. She kept her expression as neutral as she could, considering the smell and sight of him was enough to make her stomach curl. _

"_At least you've finally done something right," He grumbled, she couldn't help but notice the look of utter hatred in his eyes that wasn't conveyed in his drunken voice. "You know, I don't know why I keep you around aside from the fact you can cook. You're worthless and a eyesore to even look at otherwise."_

_Hermione clenched her jaw but lowered her gaze to the coffee mug. She used to be fairly pretty, she'd give him that. By the time they'd started dating, her bushy hair had settled and she'd finally grown into her body. She'd actually been quite an attractive girl even if a little on the plain side. Now, she was pretty much a shell of what she'd been at that time. Broken and bruised. Her hair was stringy and limp. Her once bright hazel eyes were now dull, they held a look that reminded her of what Sirius's had looked like the first time they'd seen him after Azkaban. It was his fault too. He'd done this to her. He's the one who broke her down to this._

"_So pathetic," he spat, his hatred finally seeping into the words he spoke. "I don't see why those worthless sons of a bitches keep trying to get back in touch with you. Even Weasley's clueless ass is above you." He stepped forward and cupped her chin in his hand studying her for a moment before striking her with his other hand._

_As he opened his mouth to make another comment Hermione stood, the pistol pointed at his heart, the safety was off before the gun was aimed. "Don't. I'm done, Daniel. I'm done being your punching bag. I'm just…I'm done."_

_He seemed to sober up almost immediately and an amused smirk crossed his expression, "You wouldn't. You don't have it in you to kill me, Hermione. I don't think you even know how to shoot one of those."_

"_I've killed before, Daniel. It was self defense then it's self defense now," Hermione said. "And my dad taught me how to shoot a gun years ago."_

"_How'll you play this off as self-defense? You planned it. It's premeditated, Hermione," he taunted._

"_The proof of my self defense story is written all over my face and body, Daniel. Thanks to your temper tantrum last night," she said, keeping the gun pointed at his heart._

"_Then do it, shoot me," he said, taking a step forward to where the nose of the gun was pushing into his chest. "Shoot me, Hermione." She hesitated for a moment too long and his hand grasped hers and he tried to pull the gun from her hands._

_A tug-of-war match persued and Hermione knew she'd only last so long, she knew he was stronger than her. She felt the pistol being turned inward, being turned in towards herself. In a surge of panic she pushed out and pulled the trigger at the same time._

**BANG!**

_The sound shook her to her core and she froze, eyes wide in terror. His grip on the pistol slackened as he collapsed to the ground his face contorted in pain. Blood poured from the exit wound in his back, spilling out over the kitchen floor. _

"_Bitch," he hissed as he pressed his hands to his chest. With one burst of energy he reached up and snagged her hands, "My bloods on your hands Hermione. How's that make you feel?" With that his last breath escaped his body and he was gone._

_Hermione dropped the gun onto the ground next to him and looked down at her blood covered hands. A strangled cry escaped her lips as she rushed towards the phone, dialing 911. It seemed like a life time of sitting in her chair next to his lifeless body, staring at the now-dried blood on her hands, before the police finally arrived on the scene._

"_Christ," one officer swore as he entered the kitchen taking in the sight of the body. Another curse escaped his lips as he took in the condition of his apparent assailant. "Miss? Are you alright?"_

_Hermione looked up at him blankly, "With a-all do respect officer, I've put up with over six months of this a-and __**this**__ is what it comes down to? No, sir, I'm not alright."_

_The officer nodded and touched her shoulder gently, not sure how badly she was hurt, "It looks like you came out to be one of the more lucky ones than I've seen before. You're still alive."_

_Another officer entered the room and escorted her from the kitchen. "My I-I change clothes and wash up, please?" She asked quietly._

_With a small nod, the officer led her to her room, "Miss Granger, is there some one we can get a hold of for you? Some one to come get you?"_

_Hermione looked at the man blankly, "Everyone I have is in England, and I've not spoken to them in two years…thanks to the man lying dead in my kitchen."_

"_Give me a name Miss, and I'll do my best to pass the word on to them that you're now safe," the officer said sympathetically._

_With a soft sigh, Hermione gave the man her parents' names and telephone numbers before going into her room and grabbing a clean change of cloths and her wand from the box under the bed, then returning to the hallway on her way to the shower. _

**Present Day**

A month and a half had passed since that fateful day. It took the police nearly a month to settle everything and it turned out that her parents had moved, having no way to get a hold of her, had been unable to pass on that information. Two days after the final interview with the police and lawyers, they gave her the closer she needed. She wasn't going to be tried for murder. She wasn't even going to court as there was no one willing to press charges after they got the full extent of the damage to her body at his hands. Four broken ribs, two more that had been broken and had healed improperly. Numerous hairline fractures throughout her body. Huge bruises covering most of her body that would normally be covered by clothing. A concussion. Among other things the mental and sexual trauma that the man had put her though.

Two days after that, everything in the house had been packed, all of his things in a pile to be sold or given away to charities. Everything she owned and cared to bring with her was in a single suit case and in a box of memories. With that, she stepped on an airplane bound for London. Home.

Exactly three weeks from the time she left Colorado, Hermione had started to set her life back on the right track. She'd found a flat, not too far from the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron. The place was small but it suited her just fine. It was some where of her own, it was away from every memory of _him_. She could finally breath again.

She spent the first week filling her flat up with the furniture and food that she'd need. She even bought a tv and paid for cable. Anything to keep her mind from straying to traitorous thoughts. The second week she spent doing nothing but watching the television, reading the stacks of old letters that she'd never received, and doing whatever she could to keep her nightmares at bay. She barely left her flat, almost afraid to run into her old friends. Afraid of what they'd think if they saw her now.

By the third week, Hermione was just plain bored. Her boredom drew her out of her cave and into Diagon Alley for the first time in over two years. The place had been rebuilt to it's former glory since the last time she'd been there. When she'd left for Colorado, they were still working on reconstruction from the devastation caused by the war. She kept her gaze low as she entered her old favorite store, Flourish & Botts. The bookstore. It was only a matter of about fifteen minutes before she had an arm full of books that'd caught her attention. It was only a few moments later that all of them were bought and paid for and she found herself back outside in the blistery November sun.

Without a glance around she made her way back towards the Leaky Cauldron and home. It was only a spur of the moment decision that had Hermione take a seat in one of the booths at the pub and start looking over the menu. She was tired of cooking and tired of locking herself up in her flat. It was just one meal, it wasn't like it'd hurt.

She kept to herself and quietly pulled out one of her books, one of her old favorites _Hogwarts: A History_. A small smile peered on her face as she opened the pages of the book and started reading. It was a book that brought her back to before all that mess. A time when things were wrong, but the same time, more right than they'd ever been since.

Hermione had become so enveloped in her reading and in her book that she didn't hear anyone walk up. She didn't hear the disbelieving whispers. She didn't even take note that some one was standing right next to her, staring at her in lost disbelief. That is until she heard the all-too familiar voice that drew her gaze upwards to equally familiar eyes.

"Hermione?"

**Author's Notes:**

**So, this is the second story I'm working on. I've had this idea in my mind for a long time I've just not really had the whole thing ironed out well enough to try putting it into proper words. Anyway, I hope the chapter suited you alright. I'd appreciate if you let me know what you think so far. The whole disclaimer that's always there is still the same. I don't own any of JK's wonderful characters. They're not mine, sadly. Anyway, thanks for reading and have a good one!**


	2. Chapter 2

"_Hermione?"_

The mere sound of her name coming from some one, anyone's mouth, shook her to her core. She'd been avoiding this for three weeks. But coming from _his_ mouth made it that much more difficult for her to meet his eyes. She'd missed those eyes as much as she'd missed hearing his voice. She took a deep breath and exhaled heavily before turning her head slowly to meet his gaze for a moment giving a small, nervous, smile and ducked her head slightly.

"Merlin, it is you," Harry Potter said in shock as he slumped into the booth across from you. "Where've—How are you?"

"I-I'm alright. I mean I-I'm-I'm better," Hermione stammered with a small nod. "How are you, Harry? You look great." And he did. Merlin he did. He'd grown up since that final battle. He'd grown tall too, she was sure if she stood she still wouldn't reach his broad shoulders. He looked just the same as he did when she left, though at the same time he looked so much different. Much more carefree and at ease than he had before. _Well it's been how long since you abandoned him? Of course he'd change_, she scolded herself mentally.

"I'm alright, I've been working at Hogwarts. I start next term as an instructor. Can you believe it? _Me_ as a teacher," Harry said with his lop-sided smile. "Merlin, I still can't believe you're actually here. You're back…it's been so long. I thought you were gone for good."

Her smile warmed a bit. He didn't seem to hate her. He hadn't forgotten who she was. He actually seemed…_glad_ to see her again. Hermione felt the beginnings of warmth and relief sweep through her body like she'd not felt in so long. Keeping herself from getting choked up she forced her mind to switch gears, "Let me guess, you're to be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

He gave a small smile that told her the answer before he ever verbalized it, "Yeah, apparently they thought I was the best candidate. So where've you been? What brought you back?"

"I told you when I left where I was going, Harry," Hermione said quietly, she really didn't want to get into this conversation, not yet.

"Oh yeah…you left with _Daniel_. For the States right?" He asked curiously, though Hermione knew all too well that he wasn't asking about Daniel's welfare, just asking indirectly if they were still together and, in doing so, asking if he was there in London too. "What's that prat upto these days?"

"Yes, I lived in Colorado for the last few years but I left about three weeks ago. And I don't suppose he's up to much of anything anymore…" Hermione said quietly, her voice drifting off after the last word. She began avoiding his gaze once more, her eyes locked on her clasped hands.

"What do you mean not up to much of anything?" He frowned in obvious confusion.

"He's dead," Hermione said flatly and emotionlessly.

"Oh," Harry said, blinking in surprise, unsure of what else to say without making himself look any worse. "I'm sorry?"

"Don't be, I'm not," the witch said evenly though quietly enough that he'd had to strain to hear the words. Her tone told him clearly that the conversation was over for the time being. He noticed how she nervously rubbed her hands together as though she was trying to get rid of a bad feeling. Since when did Hermione have nervous habits? Eventually, he hoped, she'd be comfortable talking to him again. Like she used to be.

Harry cleared his throat and sat forward clasping his hands in front of him, studying her intently enough to make her squirm under his gaze. "How long did you say you've been back?"

"Three weeks," Hermione replied. "I finally got the chance to come home and I took it."

"Three weeks and you didn't let anyone know?" Harry frowned.

"Well, for the last two years I hadn't gotten a single letter from anyone. I'd thought you'd all moved on and forgotten me. It wasn't until the day of Daniel's death that I found out that he was the reason why I hadn't heard from you. He'd been forgotten to give your letters to me when I'd come home from work in the evenings," Hermione explained, hating to lie to Harry but not yet wanting to get into the real reason behind Daniel's death. "By that time, I figured you'd all just about hate me for abandoning you like I did."

The feel of his blood staining her hands still haunted her, not just in her dreams but when she was awake too. She rubbed her hands together again absently; the thought of his death on her hands was enough to send a shudder down her spine, though she thought she'd hid it well. "I didn't think anyone would really want to see me and after everything that happened before I left Colorado…I needed some time alone to gather myself."

"Hermione," Harry sighed softly, "You were behind me and at my side when I needed you. I'm not sure why you'd think it would be any different were our roles reversed in anyway. You should know that 'Mione."

"But I _didn't_ know that, Harry. I should have listened to you and Ron and everyone else. I never should have left. I'm sorry, you know. I'm sorry for leaving like I did," she said, quietly.

"It's just good to have you back, 'Mione. I really missed you. It's really not been the same since you've been gone," Harry said in earnest.

The two fell silent as the food she'd ordered was placed in front of her. She thanked the waiter and pushed her food around on her plate a moment before taking a small forkful into her mouth. "I really missed you too. I just hope everyone else is as forgiving as you are. I'm not holding my breath, I don't quite care for passing out anytime soon but I can hope…How is everyone else?"

"They're well. Ron's been seeing Luna Lovegood for a good six months now. It seems to be going well enough. She's one of the only ones who won't take his temper personally, I think," He said with a small smile, which she returned between bites of her dinner. "The twins are doing well enough in their shop. It's still up and running and just as much of a nuisance to Hogwarts as it was when we were there. Bill and Fleur got married right after you left. They've got a little girl, Rebecca, and one on the way. She's actually gotten to where she's tolerable."

Hermione smiled softly and nodded in thought. She knew she'd been gone a while but it still amazed her at everything that had changed while she was gone. A tinge of sadness swept through her as she listened to what she'd missed. Major events in the lives of those she'd always cared so much about. "What about Ginny?"

Harry smiled and shook his head, "That girl has gotten to be a firecracker. She followed your footsteps into St. Mungo's and she's doing great there. I was kind of surprised when she took over the children's ward though. Being a Healer's about as far as she followed you though. As far as I know, she's not seeing anyone or anywhere near ready to settle down."

"There's a story there," Hermione observed, still able to read her friend.

"She was seeing ol' Seamus Finningan for a while. Apparently, during a dinner that consisted of a little too much firewhiskey and some friendly banter, the two ended up kicked out of the restaurant for being to loud, she went to apparate them sidelong back to her flat….only they some how ended up back at the Burrow," Hermione choked slightly on her food, her eyes wide, she put her fork down and nodded for him to continue. "Well…Mrs. Weasley woke up and got all excited thinking that Ron had decided to surprise her with a visit home…I mean the noise was coming from his bedroom and all."

"Oh no!," Hermione gasped, laughing and eyes wide. "Mrs. Weasley walked in on them?"

Harry nodded in amusement, "not only that but everyone was over the next morning for breakfast and Mrs. Weasley attempted to embarrass Ginny about the whole situation. Ginny shrugged it off and dismissed Seamus right there. She told him, word for word 'well it was fun but you know where the door is'."

Hermione shook her head in amazement, "Wow…what did Mrs. Weasley say? What did _Ron_ say?"

"Ron wasn't sure which fact to be more disgruntled about, the fact that Seamus had slept with his sister, or that they'd done it in his bed. He did turn an unusual shade of red though," Harry grinned. "I thought it was all funny."

"I bet, wow, I don't even know what I'd have thought," Hermione shook her head again, laughing softly. It felt good to smile and laugh. It'd been so long since she'd been able to do so freely. She smiled as Harry reached over and idly picked up her abandoned fork and took a bite of her food, "And what about you, Mr. Potter?"

"What about me?" He asked, tilting his head, amusement still dancing in his green eyes.

"Who's the lucky witch in your life?" She asked teasingly but with earnest curiosity.

Harry shook his head slowly as he stole another bite of her dinner, "No one. I don't think I've dated anyone steadily since we left Hogwarts. I've been on a few dates here and there, but nothing really to make note of."

"Really?" She said tilting her head. Her mind started sending her warning flares, she was getting to close to an uncomfortable topic for her own good. She knew she needed to just leave it at that but curiosity got the best of the witch once again, "How come?"

It was Harry's turn to lower his gaze to his clasped hand, "I don't know. I suppose there's just not been anyone I've really been interested in. Not in a long while. Most the girls that I've gone on dates with…they've not really been…_real_. You know what I mean? I guess I've just been waiting for some one who actually wants me for me…not for what I did all those years ago."

Hermione nodded and give him an understanding smile and silence fell between the two. After a few moments of watching him eat her dinner, she chuckled inwardly then outwardly shifted awkwardly, "I really should be getting home…"

"Oh okay, would you like me to walk you?" Harry asked.

"Um, sure, if you'd like," she replied, feeling unusually shy around her old friend.

"Of course," He nodded, grabbing her bag of books from the seat next to her and dropping a few coins on the table for her meal. When she looked up at him in with a hint of her old stubbornness and he grinned, "Buying you dinner's the least I can do after not seeing you for so long. Got to start making up lost time somewhere. Besides, I think I ate as much of it as you did."

She smiled and shook her head with a silent chuckle. "Fair enough," she replied as she led the way out of the Pub and into the streets of Muggle London. The cold air hit her sharply making her stumble as she rushed to wrap her coat tighter around her for warmth. "I still hate the cold." She flushed slightly when she heard his soft chuckle of amusement.

A few blocks of companionable silence later, they reached the building and climbed to the third level. Hermione shifted from foot to foot, some what awkwardly, "My place really isn't in the best of shape for visitors…today was the first day I left in three weeks," She said with a nervous smile.

He nodded in understanding setting her books on the floor next to her feet and pulling her into a hug. The surprise of the physical contact caused her heart to start pounding and her eyes widened and she started to pull away fearfully before she caught herself and allowed herself to be hugged. _This is Harry, not Daniel. He's not going to hurt you._ She exhaled heavily and wrapped her arms as tightly around him as his was around her.

"Merlin, I missed you, Hermione."

"I missed you too, Harry. I really did." She said quietly, her read resting against his chest comfortably.

"Hey, why don't you come with me to the Burrow for dinner this weekend? It's sort of become a tradition to go there for dinner every other Saturday. They'd all love to see you again," he said, pulling back slightly to look down at her.

She stiffened slightly but considered the prospect. Slowly, she nodded in acceptance, "Okay, I'll go."

He smiled brightly, a look that brought a smile to her own face. "Good, I'll stop by at noon to get you then?" He said as he released her from his embrace and stepped back.

"Okay, sounds good," Hermione said, excitement and nerves growing in her mind.

"Great!" He said. "I'll see you then. It's great seeing you again, Hermione. I-I'll see you later then?"

"Of course," She smiled, leaning against her door watching him leave. "Oh and Harry? It's supposed to be a surprise. That means you don't tell Ron."

A slow grin crossed his expression and he nodded in agreement. "Good to have you back 'Mione. Good to have you back."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Three days later Hermione paced anxiously in her living room. Her eyes flickered to the clock on the wall. Eleven thirty. Rubbing her hands together nervously she moved to look at herself in the full length mirror on the inside of her bedroom door. Looking over herself once more, worrying over her appearance was easier than worrying about the reactions of the pseudo-family that she'd walked out on years before.

At twenty-one, Hermione still held some of the attractive appearance that she held when she left for Colorado. She was still young enough that she regained some of it rather quickly after she left Colorado. Her hair was down to the small of her back and the weight kept the locks from frizzing as badly as it used to. There was shine back in the long chestnut curls. A few weeks of decent meals and good care had helped to revitalize her hair.

While the surface of her skin was clear of the purplish bruising, most of it had taken on the sickly yellowish tint, some of the bones were still slowly healing and were still rather tender to the touch. Her hazel eyes still held the haunted look, though she could start to see some of her old self peering through the shadowed eyes. Despite what she'd been through, Hermione had to say that she looked healthier than she had in a long time.

She'd dressed simply but comfortably for the dinner in a pair of light blue jeans that fit just right and a soft pink and chocolate brown knitted sweater with a hood and sleeves that were just a little too long that she'd loved so much because it was so soft to the touch, and a simple pair of black leather boots. Hermione had even done just a little with her makeup, something she'd gratefully learned during her time with Daniel. She didn't have anything to cover or hide this time, so she stuck with a conservative soft pink that matched her sweater and a light coat of mascara, both which helped to brightened her dulled hazel eyes.

She stepped back to look over herself again and smiled softly. In the last few years she'd grown into her body, no matter how badly Daniel said he disliked it, Hermione figured it was because in hiding it from everyone else's eyes who might be competition, he also hid it from himself. It didn't matter anymore though. He was gone and she looked good, if she did say so herself. She giggled softly to herself at that thought.

Now if she could just get through this dinner without any confrontations or panic attacks. That was the biggest reason why she stayed home so much. Being in crowds of people still drove her nerves past their limits. Some one would bump into her hand she'd nearly jump out of her skin. Some one would come around the corner and surprise her and she'd flinch back in preparation for an attack of some sort. It was pathetic and she knew it, but she couldn't help it. He still got to her, no matter how far away from him she was.

A knock on the front door made her jump from her thoughts and her gaze flew to the clock on her bedside table, Noon. She rushed from her place in front of the mirror and to the front door, peering through the peep-hole before opening the door with a smile, "Hello Harry."

"Hey," He said, returning the smile. She noted his gaze as it took in her appearance from head to toe and back again and she blushed slightly at the approval in his bright green eyes. "You look great."

"Thank you, let me grab my keys and I'll be good to go," she said as she trotted and snatched up said keys from the coffee table she turned around to leave to find him standing inside the door looking around curiously.

"It's a nice place. It suits you well," he said as his eyes scanned his surroundings.

"Thanks," she said nervously, though completely unsure why she was nervous. "You ready to go, Harry?"

"Hmm? Yeah, lets go," He said with a bright smile, offering his bent arm to her.

"Harry Potter, Chivalrous? I'm impressed," she teased affectionately.

He grinned and shrugged, "Got to do something to impress the great Hermione Granger."

She blushed slightly but rolled her eyes, "Don't let it go to your head now Potter."

His grin simply widened as he led the way from her apartment and out into the street. They both laughed at his overly animated antics. She shook her head as he led them around the corner into an alley that was blocked off and out of sight. "Hold on tight," he said with a playfully teasing grin.

She rolled her eyes and swatted his shoulder before slipping an arm around his waist, preparing for the sidelong apparition that she'd not done in years, and even when she had, didn't so much like. She tensed a little when his arm slipped around her waist but before he could take note of it, a loud _Crack!_ took them from the alley near her flat, to the dirt road that was within walking distance from the Burrow.

Harry relaxed his hold on her as they both gained their balance before he tucked her hand back into the crook of his arm and led her towards the lopsided house that was the Burrow. The house was within sight when Hermione came to a complete stop, stopping Harry mid-step, "Everything alright, 'Mione?"

"Just nervous, is all," she said, her eyes studying the house in the distance. It'd been so long since she'd been there. She looked up at him as he studied her curiously before nodding slowly and exhaling heavily, "Let's go."

Without another word, Harry led her down the hill and to the back door of the house, which led directly into the kitchen. He put his finger to his lips in a silencing motion and squeezed her hand before stepping into the door way. "I've got a surprise for everyone," his amused voice said to a room she still couldn't see into. She heard murmuring voices and his hand moved around her waist and he directed her gently in front of him and pushed her gently into the Weasley kitchen where the _entire_ Weasley clan seemed to be gathered.

All was completely silent for a few moments and both Harry and Hermione waited on bated breath while her return registered in everyone's mind. The ticking of the clock on the wall was nearly enough to drive her insane as she waited for a reaction…any reaction was better than nothing.

It was only a split second more before a loud shriek echoed through the kitchen and Hermione was tackled into a hug by the first of the redheaded family, Ginny Weasley. Hermione inwardly cringed at the girls impact into her still-injured ribs and her nerves screamed in panic at the sudden contact but she held on by threads and hugged her friend in return. "Hermione! How _are_ you? Where have you been? Oh-that doesn't matter right now, come in!" Hermione couldn't help but be amused in how much the youngest and only Weasley girl had grown to be a lot like her mother.

It was only a matter of moments before the rest of the Weasleys crowded around her calling their greetings and throwing their questions to her. She felt herself begin to shake. One person, she could handle, but she felt herself on the verge of a panic attack and her control was quickly sliding down hill. What was a warm and cozy kitchen was quickly becoming much too warm for her liking. Her head started to spin when she felt a hand slip around her waist and pull her out of the circle of redheads, "Whoa, give the girl some space. She's gone from little company to this in a matter of hours," Harry said in a way that was joking but serious in the same time.

She leaned back against him, trying to catch her breath and calm her frayed nerves, hoping none of the redheaded family had noticed how badly she'd been unsettled. "You okay, 'Mione?" he whispered into her ear. She nodded slowly. This was really going to take a lot of getting used to. Her nerves were so rattled and frayed from the previous months of torment that readjusting herself to human contact was going to take a lot of courage that she wasn't sure she had. It took a moment before her shaking settled but she played it off well enough as she focused on listening to the nonstop conversation of the Weasley household. Despite the fact that they kept asking her questions, they didn't stop talking long enough for her to answer.

Hermione had lost herself in the comfortable chatter about the kitchen that she hadn't even noted that she was still drawing comfort from leaning back against the wizard standing behind her until his hand rested at her waist causing her to jump slightly in start, before looking up curiously at him and then back to the commotion in the kitchen. She smiled when a mug of hot tea was shoved into her hands but a bustling Mrs. Weasley. "Do you need any help, Mrs. Weasley?" Hermione offered ready to anything other than stand idly. She couldn't help but think that the idleness was showing her insecurities that much more.

"Oh no, don't you mind any of this Hermione, you go into the other room with the rest of the kids until dinner's ready," the older witch said, pulling her from Harry's hold into a strong, motherly hug that didn't cause Hermione's nerves any discomfort and seemed to calm the ache of her sides. "It's good to have you back, Hermione." The younger witch reveled in how much she missed that maternal embrace. It'd been so long since she felt the kind of comfort a family brought.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley, it's good to be back," She said looking the older woman in the eyes.

Molly tilted her head and frowned slightly but patted Hermione's shoulders gently, "Go on, Hermione, go catch up with the others. You and I will catch up later," the last sentence wasn't a request but a statement. Hermione knew immediately that Mrs. Molly Weasley picked up and figured in a span of a few moments that Harry had not in the longer period of time she'd been back around him. She nodded and took in Molly's grim but understanding smile. Yes, Mrs. Weasley knew something had happened to Hermione since she'd been gone, even if she didn't know what.

Hermione followed felt her hand being snatched up and smiled in amusement when Ginny dragged her into the living room and sat her down next to her before the rest of the boys could take up all the chairs in the room.

"So?" Ginny prompted.

Hermione gave the girl a blank look and gave a small shrug, "So what?"

Ginny huffed, "Where have you been? Tell us about Colorado? Did you have fun? Come on, girl, spill."

The older witch felt herself shrink back into the cushions of the old, worn couch as she searched her mind for something to say. "It was alright, I suppose. There's really nothing for me to talk about, Ginny…"

Harry must have some how sensed her discomfort because before the redheaded witch could launch into another round of questions he jumped in, "So, uh, Ginny….How's Seamus?" He said with a small smirk as he perched himself on the arm rest next to Hermione, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Ginny gave him a look and rolled her eyes, "He's _still_ trying to get me to change my mind. Is it really that hard of a concept to grasp that I wasn't looking for anything more than what I got?"

Hermione bit her lower lip to keep from laughing, remembering the story that Harry had told her earlier. She let herself relax back against her old friend once more, once again soaking in that feeling of comfort that she'd not felt in a very long time washed over her, though at the same time, an unsettling feeling crossed through her that she couldn't quite pinpoint.

That is, until she glanced up and her eyes met with a pair of hazel one's studying her intently from the stair case that led to all the upper levels of the house. She ducked her head a little bit as she met the inquisitive gaze, a gaze which seemed to instantly turn frosty.

"What's she doing here?" Ron Weasley asked in a cold, flat tone, looking around the room at his siblings.

"Ron!" Ginny scolded, "Stop being so rude."

"What? She disappears and ignores us for…how long were you gone, exactly, Hermione?" Ron sneered. "Doesn't matter anyway, you can just return and expect to pick up where you left off. Maybe with everyone else, but not with me."

Hermione sunk back into her seat, wishing she could just disappear. "I know, and I'm sorry Ron. Perhaps one of these days I'll be able to better explain the last few years to you."

Ron snorted, "You do that, Hermione. Like it's going to make a difference. You still abandoned everyone you cared about."

"You don't think I realize that Ronald?" Hermione said quietly.

"It doesn't matter, Hermoine. I really have no desire to hear your excuses," the wizard said before turning and walking out of the house without another word.

Hermione stared at her hands and bit her lip to keep from crying. She knew her welcome wasn't going to be the warmest from everyone. But she'd hoped Ron would have been a little more accepting and happy to see her back.

"Don't worry, 'Mione, he'll come around eventually," Harry said softly, his hand smoothing gently over her back. "He always does."

She nodded solemnly and wrapped her arms around herself before turning her attention back to the remainder of the family. The conversations had taken root and she was perfectly content just sitting back and listening to everyone talk. Her head came to rest against Harry's thigh and before long she felt sleep taking her. Only barely did she feel Ginny pry the cup of tea from her sleepy fingers, and just as slight was the feeling of Harry's hand gently combing through her hair. Everything around her had brought her back to that home feeling and her body was finally unwinding and allowing itself to relax. This is what she'd missed.

Home.


End file.
